Saturday, July 31, 2004

I'm finally re-dying my hair... What's it been? Two months? I'm back in black.
Today I went with Uncle Charlie to his Garland store, where he drove me around on the front of a forklift. Then off to Wal-Mart to buy Granny new cotton panties... Granny panties are weird... Huge... and plain... and weird. Uncle Charlie asked me to come along so he wouldn't feel like a perv, walking through women's undergarments. He's fine with buying Kotex, women's shirts or pants, but he draws the line at panties... someone might think he's buying them for himself.
I feel smelly. Time for a shower.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 13:30 | |


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I dropped my phone... in a puddle... and watched it float down the street...


.:dr0wningophelia:. 23:45 | |


Monday, July 26, 2004

I only feel lonely when I'm at home.  The phone never rings, computer never chirps with a new message, no enticing strangers greet me at the door...  There must be something wrong with me if I can't hold someone's attention for more than three weeks' time.  Granted, I was with Stephen four months, but I'm sure after the first three weeks, he was long gone emotionally and just didn't want to be alone.  At least I'm better than no one.
Steph, Amanda and I went to IHOP tonight.  Saw Stephen, Reese and Tony.  Reese thought it would be just the opportunity to tell me Dustin was with Leah again.  He seemed to expect a reaction from me; for me to start hurling abuse at Leah or Dustin for wanting to be together.  I don't really care.  I'm glad that he found someone whose better than no one.
There should be a blues song about PMS.
I'm too emotional for my own good, but not smart enough to express it well.  I've been thinking of taking up painting.  I'd like to learn how to play my guitar.
Every now and then, I light up a cigarette and think to myself, "I don't smoke... this must be a bad day."
I feel like an imposter.  I'm wearing someone else's shoes.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 22:15 | |


Sunday, July 25, 2004

I've been having dreams with Stephen in them.  I don't want to say they're "about" him, because last night I was helping my cousin make a CareBears costume, and he just happened to be there.  God damn it, I'm over him.  Why is he invading me again?  I hope I'm just pre-menstrual.



.:dr0wningophelia:. 08:57 | |


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I'm really worried about my finances right now... I just called the bank and I'm  at NEGATIVE $434....  "What the fuck?!?" you might ask... Well, my friends, there are really only two possibilities... One: my identity has been stolen and someone is running about this tiny world stealing money from a barely legal teen who has almost no credit to her name.  I bet they dress just like me, and spend more time with my friends than I do, but because he/she is wearing my clothes, no one questions it.
Option Two: I screwed up.
I keep going back through my mental bank logs, coming up with a few things here and there (concert tickets... strip club... food... movies...) that gouged my account balance, but nothing that could grab my account by the balls and squeeze every stinking penny out of there...
I'm afraid to ask my dad for help, or even ask to put off paying for insurance this month.  I'm supposed to be showing him how responsible I can be on my own...  So far, I'm still living at home, suckling at my father's teat, and that's scares me.  The mental picture is almost as terrifying as the reality check.
On a lighter note: Steph lives with me!  It's like one long slumber party, and I'm loving it.  Especially the melted Fudgicles.... We are awesome cooks, but terribly forgetful.



.:dr0wningophelia:. 18:29 | |


Sunday, July 18, 2004



.:dr0wningophelia:. 00:00 | |


Friday, July 16, 2004

So Dustin and I are over... Which can't be such a bad thing because neither of us were particularly interested in continuing... whatever that was... a summer fling, perhaps?  Alex is banned from having his or Josh's companionship after spending Tuesday night in "Florida," also known as "tripping balls" at "Doug's house."  After Steph and I traveled to Irving to visit my newly released, and remarkably coherent (/senile), Granny, we trekked back to Carrollton to see Dustin and hang with Alex.  Two separate events, mind you.  Dustin said we probably shouldn't hang out with him any more because he seems to "fuck shit up."  Noted.  He's living with Doug for now because his grandmother kicked him out, and doesn't seem to want me around.  Dually noted.
I guess it's for the best.
Last night, after joy-riding with Steph and Alex, I went over to Shawn's.  Things with his girlfriend still aren't looking promising, what with the fights and arguing and near hating each other.  He said that the only reason he can think of to still be with her is that they've been together for so long, it would be a shame to let that go.  My counter: he's young, he shouldn't feel trapped in a relationship, and besides... I like him.  I'm afraid I'm pathetic.  The tragically un-hip variety.  But he likes me, too, so that lightens the load of ruling Dorkdom.  And I rule it with an iron fist.
It's a traveshamockery.  Bur-flickel, indeed.



.:dr0wningophelia:. 21:15 | |


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

.:Am I good enough to go to Heaven?:.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 10:50 | |


Monday, July 12, 2004

Granny's spending the next 3-5 days at Baylor hospital. She had her colostomy reversal, and was given Morphine to help ease the pain. When my Granny's drugged up, she becomes part of the cast of The Godfather... She started mumbling, "The Don's are coming... They come when it's time to bump somebody off..." Soon after she passed out again, Dad, Uncle Charlie, Steph and I had a good chuckle at her expense.

For dinner, Dad treated the four of us to Denny's since it was close-by. Dad and UC are distracted by a hostess podium as Steph and I walk through the door. We were "greeted" by a cranky teen, who wanted to seat us next to a table of five children. In a near empty restaurant, is it really necessary to sit beside noise? I thought not, so I asked to be seated on the opposite side of the restaurant. He mumbled something about sections, pointed to an invisible boundary line, then threw the menus at another waitress and ordered her to seat us.

"What is that man's problem?" I inquired.
"Oh, that's just Manny." the waitress said. Acting like an ass must be acceptible in Irving.
Moments later, Manny saunters up to our table.
"Am I was being rude? She told my manager you said I was rude. Am I was being rude?!" he badgered us, demanding fear from a table of hungry white people.
Dad tried not to look nervous as he calmed the guy down... "No...?"
With an incredulous look smeared across my face, I thought, "Wow, this moron has horrible grammar... Yes, Manny, you were being rude. You work in a Denny's that shares a parking lot with a major hospital. Chances are, you're serving a person/group of people who have had a long day and just want some peace. Being rude and confrontational will not earn you points in any place of business, least of all a restaurant where your main duty is to please me, the customer. Now, I would appreciate it if you would get out of my face and finish your side work."
I hear telling someone off works best if you're talking out loud.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 23:09 | |


Thursday, July 08, 2004

Steph and I found our apartment! Dawntree Apartments on Peter's Colony and Josey... They're nice and cheap, and nice inside too. One down-side: the fence on the patio isn't full... as in, there's a little walkway thingy where either a gate should be, or else it's just easy access for thieves and nosey neighbors... exciting. I can't wait, but I'm scared that I won't have the money for bills AND a life... Maybe I should find a new job... or at least a real one. Not an office job, mind you. Early hours never were my specialty. I have a hard enough time waking up in time for my 10 am schedule already. Blockbuster is actually giving me the most hours of everyone at the store: 37+ a week; almost full time. And thank goodness because I need the money.
Dustin's out of town this week... Something in Florida... I think he said AA. Should be back on Sunday, but I'm not sure that he wants to come back.
I don't know what my problem is. I like being with him, but this entire time has felt more like we're "hanging out" or "fooling around" than actually dating. We got in two mini fights last week, and he actually said he misses his ex... the one he called crazy and psycho... but she's better than me because I throw hissy fits when I'm drunk.
Tonight Alex was allowed to leave his house. His mom found him on the kitchen floor yesterday and thought he needed some fresh air or something. I took him errand running with me, then we met up with Steph for free food at Mac Grill. *drool* Oh yeah, free food and her company... because we could...
Later on Tyrell joined our brigade and we headed off to the dollar movies. Kill Bill vol. 2 kicks ass, especially when it only costs a dollar... fifty.
We dragged a drunk Morgan to "our" apartment complex, where I pointed out an overflowing dumpster (an omen?) and the radio played "Our House" by Madness. If you know the words, sing along
Father wears his Sunday best
Mother's tired she needs a rest
The kids are playing up downstairs
Sister's sighing in her sleep
Brother's got a date to keep
He can't hang around
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, in the middle of our ...

.:dr0wningophelia:. 22:14 | |


Monday, July 05, 2004

So today... yesterday... was the fourth of July. And I didn't get to see any damn fireworks. Alex and Dustin did, but because I was blessed with scrawny arms (much too scrawny to climb a friggin' roof, mind you) I sat on Steph's car and listened to my heart's content.
Dustin and Steph made a run to work, where a big deal was made out of nothing. I asked Kathy a week ago if it would be alright for them to be on my account... "I don't see why not..." Alright... Now every time they try to rent Kathy is called, mean looks are exchanged and thirty minutes later they're free to leave. Jason apparently piped up to say that he checked in a movie from my account that had been dropped in the box. A big NO-NO. That prick. My friends know the rules. They say it didn't happen. That prick.
Snorting is WAY better than smoking. Incase you were wondering.
You know that scene in Cruel Intentions when Buffy takes a bump from her rosary? Ever since I saw that movie I wanted that to be me. Minus all the incest.
So now I'm rambling. And it's 2.22. in the morning... Early.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 00:21 | |