Monday, July 26, 2004

I only feel lonely when I'm at home.  The phone never rings, computer never chirps with a new message, no enticing strangers greet me at the door...  There must be something wrong with me if I can't hold someone's attention for more than three weeks' time.  Granted, I was with Stephen four months, but I'm sure after the first three weeks, he was long gone emotionally and just didn't want to be alone.  At least I'm better than no one.
Steph, Amanda and I went to IHOP tonight.  Saw Stephen, Reese and Tony.  Reese thought it would be just the opportunity to tell me Dustin was with Leah again.  He seemed to expect a reaction from me; for me to start hurling abuse at Leah or Dustin for wanting to be together.  I don't really care.  I'm glad that he found someone whose better than no one.
There should be a blues song about PMS.
I'm too emotional for my own good, but not smart enough to express it well.  I've been thinking of taking up painting.  I'd like to learn how to play my guitar.
Every now and then, I light up a cigarette and think to myself, "I don't smoke... this must be a bad day."
I feel like an imposter.  I'm wearing someone else's shoes.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 22:15 | |