Sunday, January 23, 2005

1. First Name: Elisabeth
2. Were you named after anyone? My dad's church friend, and the Elisabeth in the Bible...
3. Do you wish on stars? No, but I do make wishes at 12:34, and I hold my breath when driving by cemetaries... just for the luck, ya know.
4. When did you last cry? Last Friday
5. Do you like your handwriting? Every now and then. It looks a lot like my mom's
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? honey baked ham... and bacon.
7. What is your birth date? March 17, 1986
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? I like my current collection, but my first CD to ever purchase was the Macarena... We learned the dance in third grade PE for a test grade, and I HAD to practice...
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I can be fun... Probably more of an aquantance.
10. Are you a daredevil? Hardly.
11. NEXT.
12. Do looks matter? Not to sound shallow, but of course they do. NEXT.
13. How do you release anger? I don't. I let it build up until it all mushes together, then I cry.
14. Where is your second home? I practically live at Chris's, but I wouldn't call it home. I'm harldy ever at my dad's house, so I don't know that I have a "home" anymore.
15. Do you trust others easily? Not right off the bat, but if I've grown to trust you, you could tell me almost anything and I'd believe you.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My brother. He made the funniest noises when I punched him.
17. What class in high school was totally useless? TAP, Success, PE, Apparel, and Child Development.
18. Do you have a journal? Yes.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? ...yes.
20. What are your nicknames? Beth, HotDog, Booty-Bumper, Bubble-Butt, David Tidwell's sister.
21. Would you bungee jump? Only if I could pee my pants whilst doing so.
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.
23. Do you think that you are strong? Strong willed? No. He-man strong? No.
24. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's Phish Food
25. Bush or Kerry? Turd Sandwich or Giant Douche?
26. Pen or pencil? Pen.
27. Football or basketball? football
28. Shoe Size? 7 1/2 or 8
29. Red/Pink? Both. At the same time.
30. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm dumb.
31. Who do you miss most? My brother.
32. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? Don't think I'd read it if they did, but sure.
33. What color pants are you wearing? work kahkis
34. What are you listening to right now? Dad's watching TV in the living room... and my fingers hitting these keys.
35. Last thing you ate? Soup, cheese, and crackers. But not in that order.
36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? What a stupid question.
37. What is the weather like right now? Cold... and Grey.
38. Last person you talked to on the phone? Some customer. Strange little lady.
39. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes, and build.
40. Do you like the person who sent this to you?? I stole it. From Valerie. So yes.
41. Who was it? Try and keep up.
42. Favorite Drink? Coke
43. Favorite Sport? Volleyball
44. Would you rather sing or dance in public? Sing. I might hurt someone if I were to dance. Namely, myself.
45. What were you on Halloween? Sleeping.
46. Do you wear contacts? Nope.
47. Pet Peeve? I'll get back to you on that.
48. Goal in Life? Not sure yet.
49. Last Movie You Watched? A Home at the End of the World
50. Favorite Day Of The Year? Halloween. And St. Patrick's Day.
51. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? I hate happy endings, and scary movies are never scary.
52.Summer Or Winter? Little of both. We'll call it January, in Texas.
53. Hugs Or Kisses? Depends on the level of passion. I don't like halfway hugs, or slobber.
54. Mountains or the beach? Mountains in Arizona
55. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? I'm a sodium fiend, and most desserts aren't salty.
56. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? ... To what? This "cry for help" entry? Sadly, no one.
57. NEXT.
58. Living Arrangements? I keep my things at my dad's house, and occasionally visit to shower/grab clothes. I sleep at my boyfriends regularly.
59. What Books Are You Reading? Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and Hotel New Hampshire.
60. What's on your mouse pad? Hot air balloons.
61. Who was your last bf/gf? Before Chris? Stephen (Sep 03-Jan 04), though I've dated since then.
62. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Nothing.
64. Rolling Stones or Beatles? BEATLES! The beatles could have totally done what the Rolling Stones did, but the Stones could never school the Beatles.
65. Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? Little of both.
66. What's the furthest you've been from home? Las Vegas, NV
67. What were you supposed to be doing while fillingout this survey? Driving to my mom's house for dinner and study time.
68. What time is it? 5:49 pm


.:dr0wningophelia:. 15:21 | |


Friday, January 14, 2005

This morning I woke up restless. I rolled over and watched Chris sleep for a few minutes. I turned off my phone and tried not to make any noise as I scrounged through my bags for clothes so I could wander the house. Drove to my house for breakfast supplies: milk, bacon, eggs, cheese. Breakfast was almost ready when he woke up and walked into the hallway. "Beth, what are you doing?" he called. "...Nothing... Making breakfast... Are you hungry? You should be hungry. Get back in bed, mister." I turned to see his sleepy smile. He looks so cute with blonde bed-head and sleepies in his eyes, my beautiful lovie.
My doctor's appointment was this morning, and I sat in the waiting room for an hour, planning a quick escape but not moving. Here comes the nurse who tells me my accent is worse than hers. At least she's funny. I tried to pee in the cup she gave, but sprayed the bowl and my hand in the process. Wonder if that's enough for them to tell me I still have hematuria. The nurse leaves and I'm alone again. I take out my cards, and lose a game of solitaire, lay down on the paper-covered bed and close my eyes, waking up just in time for Dr. Welp to enter. She's short and old, with a kind smile and slightly beady eyes. Spreading my legs before Dr. Welp is never an easy task. She rambles on about her daughter, and asks the same questions each visit. Am I exercising yet? Do I still smoke? How were the holidays, and is school in my future? She inserts the speculum as I answer, and my voice jumps. I'm not sure if my appointment is over, though the worst part is, and I grab my things and run for the door. I'm a hit and run patient.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 11:15 | |


Monday, January 10, 2005

Mom and I decided to bleach the black out of my hair and go for a rich-auburn color. The first bleach kit (ColorZAP) didn't do much. Three ounces of liquid was hardly enough to coat the ends of my hair, let alone the entire thick mass. Back to the store for an Xtreme Bleaching kit. This one says it'll work on any shade of hair in 90 minutes or less. Lies, all lies. Now I'm stuck with BLONDE-blonde roots, three inches of orange, and the same old black everywhere else. It looks like the top of my head is on fire, and for a while there it felt like it, too. Tomorrow morning I'm dying the blonde/orange rich-auburn... chopping off most of the black... and hoping for the best.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 23:02 | |


Sunday, January 09, 2005

This weekend was the first time I thought about this ending. As naive as it may seem, it had never crossed my mind. Though sometimes when I said I love you, my head would echo back "This boy could really hurt me."
There are no signs that say you're leaving now, but it's in my nature to distrust and flee. Pain is not something I'm comfortable with.
Do I build up walls and risk breaking the foundation? Or love you still with all my heart, and pretend I'm not hurt already? What do you do once the honeymoon's over? When you're used to or tired of me and my body? When I have no more surprises, and my quirks become annoying? When I become paranoid of where this may be going? Is it too late to love you?


.:dr0wningophelia:. 23:26 | |


Saturday, January 08, 2005

Another weekend without Chris, and I'm spending most of it at work. He told me he was taking this weekend off to spend time with me, but Josh called and said there was a huge softball tournament in Austin that should bring in some money, so he's gone again until Monday.
Yesterday he asked me if my dad was okay with our age difference. Both of my parents are completely comfortable with Chris, and six years is not a huge gap... Good thing he's 24, and not 12. The question really wouldn't have bothered me, except that his asking means it's bothering him.
I'm still not done with training at work, and it's been four weeks since it started. It normally takes four days tops, but Kathy keeps forgetting to schedule me in. Maybe I should take this as a sign and find a new job, but having manager experience would really help me land the stellar job of my dreams. Plus, I need the raise.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 21:30 | |


Sunday, January 02, 2005

New Year's Eve was in Rockwall this year. One Hundred seventy-five acres of nothing but trees and horses, champagne, beer, a bon fire, thirty people I've never seen before and two who never left my side. All in all it was a great night, and I'm still recovering, but I'm sure my life has changed. I start school in 16 days, and I'm not prepared for it. In fact, I'm scared shitless...
Chris should be home by tomorrow night, and I can't wait to see him. It feels like he's been gone so much longer than two weeks, and every now and then I get scared that things will fall apart when he gets home. Suddenly we find something different in each other, and we're no longer compatible. Or maybe everything's the same, but it's old, stale. Then I remember that two weeks is hardly enough time to fall out of love with someone, and that, for now, I'm safe believing he still cares.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 19:59 | |