Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I need to learn to be more assertive. I need to be able to say "no," or "goodbye," or "hey, I need you," without feeling that annoying pang of guilt. I'm stuck playing it nice instead of doing what I really want, and I'm sure it shows, even to those I'm trying to ham it up for.
These past few days I've been on the verge of tears for no reason at all. Nothing in my life is too bad to cope with. I haven't felt the urge to burn or to die. But I still get emotional over every little thing.
I keep getting the feeling that everything around me is going to leave. They're all going to die, or move away and forget about me. Maybe I deserve it, but what did I do? What didn't I do?
I realize I'm stubborn, and whiny and needy. I know I get on your nerves all the time. I can see how annoying I must be to you, but please don't go. We can heal the wound I caused. I have colorful band-aides for that knife in your back. I'll make it up to you somehow.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 22:27 | |