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Thursday, February 12, 2004

Is it too late to put my life together? I'm only seventeen, not even an adult, but according to my mom, and my English teacher, I should already have my life mapped out for the next ten years. I should have a college, a major, a career in mind. I should be able to look ahead without fear.
Of course, I have the big points marked down: a cozy house, a fridge full of food, loving husband, cute puppy, three boys of my own... I want to study literature. I want to take a photography class. I want to paint murals on the fence in my backyard. These are the things that really matter to me.
But the fact is, I can't even crack open a daily planner without stressing out. I'm afraid of committing myself. I don't make plans until the last minute, just incase something better comes along.
I've learned one thing this year: never tell anyone you don't have a plan. Everyone has their own advice to share, and usually it's, "Just wait until college. Things will be different then." What if college isn't what I'm looking for? Would I be doomed to live a life of poverty, boredom, and utter hopelessness? I doubt it.
Life, to me, isn't about earning money. Money is only paper. The real value one earns is through their experiences, and if I'm unhappy with something I'm doing, or not doing, then I'll change it on my own.
You see, some people are boots: straight-laced, uptight... That's just not me. I'm more of a sandal... a flip-flop, if you will. I'd rather be free to wiggle my toes. It's a corny metaphor, but it'll do.
I want to travel around the world; visit England and Spain, Australia, Peru... I want to nap on sandy beaches; sip wine in grape vineyards; ride elephants and camels through the desert. I'll own land in the country; waking up every day, breathing in the morning air. I bet life tastes better with more trees around. I want a life without worries. I want news channels that mention the good things that happen. That's what I'm looking for, and I'm sure that I'll find it once my path is in view.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 15:01 | |