Sunday, January 04, 2004

If we were to marry, it would probably end badly... though he's given me no reason to think so. I'd have no one to blame but myself... I'm incapable of fully loving someone... of giving my all... He's done nothing wrong, and yet I feel he doesn't care.
We have an on-going joke: I should love him, after all the shit I put him through....
Maybe it's just me being my paranoid self, but every time he says he "can't" spend time with me, I hear more of "I don't want to."
Why am I even thinking of marrying him? I can't even handle this small-time dating thing we're doing now. If I feel alone and strange this early on, what in the hell makes me think things will be better just because we're wearing matching rings? I'm such an idiot.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 15:24 | |