Sunday, October 12, 2003

my brother called today. during dinner. me, val, my mom and dad were all in the living room. he only had five minutes to talk so we were going to pass the phone around, but i didn't get my turn. it feels like he doesn't even miss me. i never get any phone calls or letters. everyone else does. the only updates i get are from their letters, and messages he leaves on the machine for my dad. i always thought we were closer than we really are. i don't even want to mail him the letter i wrote anymore. i left the room crying, and now every one thinks i'm being selfish because i want my brother to miss me. it's weird. i didn't even seem to notice him being gone until i heard his voice on the answering machine. now i miss him all the time, but i don't know how to tell him that. or even if i should. i feel like a little girl. i'm being stubborn and stupid because he won't give me attention. i had to struggle to write that damn letter, and still i had nothing to say except "come home. you don't have to be there. your room is too empty."

.:dr0wningophelia:. 16:29 | |