Monday, March 21, 2005

.:From Overheard In New York:.

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: "Bam" doesn't blow up, "bam" makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can't defeat that!

Him: You know what I'm saying, because I was all "you know what I'm saying," you know what I'm saying?
Her: I have no idea what you're trying to say.

Flygirl #1: My brother was like mad drunk when his lady went into labor. He was gonna beat up these guys that were messing with our little brother, but he didn't have his gun. He passed out but his friend got his ass to the hospital.
Flygirl #2: He gonna be such a good daddy.
Flygirl #1: Yeah.

Dude: We have called you The Breast Fondler for like two years and she wouldn't even let you fondle her breasts? Doesn't she know your nickname?

Dude #1: I'm gonna stand up as I turn. I'd like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready.

Girl: Can I bring mac and cheese to the porn show or is that tacky?
Guy: It's not tacky; it's necessary.

Girl #1: I hate how my body is cold but my face is freezing off.
Guy: You could wear a ski mask.
GIrl # 1: But then you look like a douche.
Girl #2: Yeah, like that guy [across the street]
Girl #1: He's not wearing a ski mask. He's black.

Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" is playing in the background? Well, it's more dificult than you think...

Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga...oh, you're smoking a joint.

Man: ...I'm saying, you've passed out, and then the cat eats you. So just don't pass out.

Drunk Woman: ...so I had the 6 pounds of meat for the meatloaf, and I'm stirring. It was for like 15 people--I had the whole family over--and I turn away for one minute. I came back to find my daughter stirring it, but she had poured in Meow Mix cat food. So me and my mother start picking the cat food out (it was the seafood flavored one) but there was too much in it. So I just put it in the oven, and while everyone was eating it I kept singing the Meow Mix song under my breath. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked for the recipe afterwards.

.:dr0wningophelia:. 08:18 | |