Saturday, September 13, 2003

Logan called me last night... accidentally. I'm not sure if I did something to piss him off, but I've stopped caring. Thursday when we last talked he asked if I still loved him. In all honesty, I don't know. I told him yes to avoid whatever confrontation might have followed, but cringed when the word passed my lips.

These past three weeks I've been holding onto nothing. He's acting like it's okay to be a "part-time boyfriend." We all know those don't exist. You can't work a relationship around a schedule, it's a full-time responsibility, just like owning a puppy. If only he could see that. Bah!

I'm glad that I'm finally moving on. It took me long enough to realize there was no special bond between us. Just because we had sex, just because I was his first, I cannot expect a mutual, loving relationship. I cannot expect respect. How silly of me.

I'm glad that Stephen is here to help me through this. He's a nice distraction, and I actually like spending time with him. I just hope that the crush I've developed for him isn't solely based on my disappointment in Logan. Stephen's a great guy. And a great kisser. But I don't want to get my hopes up again. I don't want to keep reaching for something that doesn't exist now, and never will.


.:dr0wningophelia:. 01:19 | |